How Far Will Happy Go

I love it. I live in Texas City, the town that keeps blowing up thanks to BP. We have an automatic phone system that notifies the citizens when something major is about to happen or happening there. I just got two phone calls that Homeland Security is going to be setting off bombs at the firing range today and we may hear a series of booms. Nothing to worry about, it's just part of regular training. It's so nice to know that the plant isn't blowing up today, they are only setting off bombs. Gotta love living in a town like this. LOL

Oh wow! I got my new boobs yesterday. No more duct tape! I look like I had a new boob job. Like they were lifted so they don't hang down to my belly anymore. They look so real. You can't even tell that they're not. No more,when I bend over you can see the prothesis hanging out. They are beautiful! They fit perfectly. They are perky again. I just love them! My boyfriend came over and the first thing he did was kiss them. Do you know how that made me feel as a woman? It made me feel like a real woman again. After all these years. I can wear blouses that I couldn't wear before because of the old ones. It even looks like I have cleavage. I know that you guys are probably tired of hearing about my boobs, but this was a major life change for me. I feel complete again. Like part of the nightmare of having breast cancer at one time is finally over. It's a wonderful feeling. Plus after losing all this weight, I need to go buy new pants. I only have one pair that fit and even now, I'm starting to have to wear a belt with them. And I'm eating like a horse again. But for today, I am a real woman, hear me roar!!!!!!

Well, here I am on another road trip. I just keep going till I run out of road. That's the whole point of a road trip. One was taken at the Atlantic Ocean in NC and one was taken last weekend at Padro Island in TX. I think it's obvious that I'm happiest living near the water. I live 9 blocks from the Gulf of Mexico (right where Hurricane Ike hit) I stayed home for that one. But still, it's beautiful living and being near the water. I just wish the pictures showed the 50 lbs that I lost in between the years (actually in the last year) But aren't they both beautiful pictures of the water? Time keeps on slipping away. Enjoy the view. Oh and "Happy" was definately there both times!

Okay, so yesterday I got turned down for the chemo. But I enjoyed the pie. And remember the part about faith. Well, that turned out better than the pie!
My neurologist had suggested one last ditch effort for my disease. It's a long shot that it will work, but it is worth a try. A complete plasma transfusion. I would have to be hospitalized for 10 days and again it's very expensive. BUT, I callled the hospital where it would be done at and they said that they would work with me on the bill and if all I could afford was $10 a month, that would be okay. They would still treat me. And it still is a long shot that it is going to be totally effective with the disease, but maybe it will at least slow it down. So I'm going to go for it. I figure that God will take care of all the big stuff and all I have to do is the little things, like survive.
AND there's is more good news. I get new boobs! There is one organization Y-Me, will donate prothesis and bras to women who cannot afford them. This is the only organization that I have found in the country that does this. Just think, I won't have to wear my sister's hand me downs anymore or wear any more duct taped up ones.
Faith. What a wonderful thing to have in life. I can't imagine what it would be like not to have it. It's better than coconut cream pie!
Okay, so let me recap everything recently. I've lost 50 lbs in the past year, I wear a size 10 in jeans, I get to get hopefully a life saving treatment, and I get new boobs. And I get to go to Corpus Christi, TX this weekend. I feel like God was thinking about me last night wondering what He could do to make me happy today.He loves me enough that I know that He wants me to be happy. I need to do something for Him. I owe Him big time. How can I ever pay God back for all the blessings that He has given to me and my family? To think, He does this just because He loves me and wanted to have me to serve Him. I pray that I do.
One thing I don't think that He'll ever ask me to do though, is to bake a pumpkin pie again. LOL

That was one of the best piece of coconut pie, I believe that I've ever had in my whole life. People are surprised that I didn't eat the whole pie. I did good.

I got turned down for chemo. That means that my disease will get much worse over the next year or so before I become completely bedridden. I have a rare autoimmune disease caused by having breast cancer or chemo twice eight years ago. It causes extreme muscle spasms and is literally eating my body up from the inside out. This chemo was pretty much my last chance. But i've been blessed during the last eight years. I asked God to let me live long enough to have a grandbaby and now I'm going on having 5! I've met so many wonderful people. You don't meet people here, you make friends. I've learned that. I can be standing in line somewhere and people will just start talking to you like they've known you all their lives. I still have my faith. I still believe in the healing power of God. I have been blesssed with so many things before that I have no reason to have any doubts.

I plan on doing a lot during the next year. Can you believe that I've never been to Corpus Christi? I'm going this weekend. My parents used to live there 53 years ago and I'm going to find the address and take a picture of the house or area where they lived and send it to my Mom. I want to stand on the beach and see it for the first time just like my mother did through her eyes. She said that if I ever came to Texas, that I would never leave. She was right. I'm home now. It's one of best blessings that I've had in life.

I've always been happy here. Maybe it's because of the pie! But I believe it's just because of the people. It's wonderful to know your neighbors, the kids in the neighborhood, the name of the person at the store that you do business at, your favorite waitress, so many things that make Texas so real. The way that in case of an emergercy, everyone comes out to help. Yep, we are all blessed here. And if you get a chance to have a piece of coconut pie today, enjoy it. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so go ahead. Just for today, do something that will make you happy and make you know how blessed you really are.

Today I see the neurologist to find out if I'm eligible for chemotherapy. I am as ready spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically as I'm ever going to be. Either way, I'm going to do what I normally do. I'm going to live life to its' fullest today.

Last week I had to crawl through two rooms to get to my wheelchair because I woke up and couldn't walk. This week I'm walking. It's nice. I'm enjoying it, just to be able to walk this week.

I'm blessed. I know that you all get tired of hearing that. But I am. I live life to the fullest that I possibly can. Sometimes, it's just a feeling that a long distance friend needs a phone call. Sometimes, it's a feeling that a friend needs a ride to the doctor, but doesn't want to impose on anyone. Sometimes, it's knowing that my big old Golden Retriever just HAS to go for ride in the car. She thinks she's "Miss Daisy". Whatever it is, it is. I have wonderful friends and family that love me and they know that I love them. I have faith. My faith will carry me through today, no matter what the outcome.

And then, I'm going to go and eat a piece of coconut pie. I haven't had a piece of that pie in probably over 5 years. Now, that's about as good as life gets. Since I lost over 50 lbs this year from being ill, I don't think that one little piece of coconut pie is going to change much. Who cares anyway? So I gain a lb. So. But you can bet that I'm going to enjoy every bite of it! Go ahead, take a bite of life today. You'll feel better.

I sit here and wonder if I made a difference last year year. Did I make someone's day happier, did I help someone when they needed help, did anything I do or say really make a difference? Or was it just a blog? My goal in life is make a difference. To make each day count. To praise the Lord. To just give someone an unexpected smile. But did I REALLY make a difference? I am very happy that my blog is being read all over the world now, which was such a nice surprise. But I don't get any feedback on it, so I don't know if it really made a difference. I know that there are certain things that I've done that have helped friends go through difficult times, even help them deal with dying. That was hard.But neccessary. But did I make a diffference? Will people remember me? Or am I just another blogger that sometimes people run across and read? I don't want my life to be a should have, could have, would have been. I really want to make a difference with the only thing that I really have. An encouraging word, a smile, a laugh, a good story to tell once in a while. I hope to share more of this in 2009. I've really started slacking up lately on my blogging. I promise that I will go bettter at it, if it really makes a difference. Did you do anything last year that you KNEW made a difference in someone's life? Tell me about it. It's not bragging, I'd just like to hear about some good thingss that happened to people last year. Things that made a difference. ...